tml will be my first day at work.gosh...
the whole day i had butterflies flying in my tummy..
and i;m feeling horrible too..
oh besides having butterflies in my tummy, i hadn't been eating well..
awhile eat , awhile just refuse to put anything in my mouth..
yesterday i had a gastric strike in the middle of the night.
it was pain on the first strike, but i guess i didn't dare to move then soon fallen asleep..
hahaha ain't i amazing?
wahahahaha...

Finally the black blazer is in my hands now..ahahaa.
they shocked me when they told me they couldn't find it when i already made a reservation..
Lucky there was my size and i guess it was the last piece on the rack???
*phew*..

These few days i had been thinkin, will u come back to me??
haiz..i'm not sure either, cos you've told me wat you wanted..
but seeing the situation you're in, i really cannot bare to throw you behind to walk ahead..
i wish i could meet you face to face, but when i noe if we ever meet, my tears will start flowing again.
you must hav slim dwn alot due to the stress you're facing over at work..
and yet i have to sit here and not being able to nurse you back to health..
i noe it is my mistake to not let you be who you're when you're with me due to the certain things tt i dun like you to do...
i'm sorry i'm not sensitive to you and who you really wanna be..
haiz....by saying all these doesn't work anymore cos you chose to not walk dwn this jouney with me le..
haiz...
just hope you will be okay....
haiz...

this is just random ...

You Are The Lovers

You represent ideal love: innocence, trust, exhilaration and joy. You demonstrate the harmony of opposites, two sides coming together. At times, you also represent the struggle between what is right and what is tempting. Control is an issue for you, especially when you don't know your reasons for choosing something. Your fortune: You have an important choice you need to make about love, and it will be a difficult choice to make. You are likely struggling between the love you crave and the love that is right. In the end, you will choose what you crave, even if it's bad for you. Because without what you crave, you will feel empty and incomplete.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Your Birth Month is March

You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe. Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity. Your soul reflects: Respect, desire, and generosity Your gemstone: Aquamarine Your flower: Daffodil Your colors: White and light blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

this time my job interview was sucessful!!
so i will start work this coming monday..
starting from 9.30-6.30pm..
got to wake up early to start my long butt numbing madness bus ride, from Serangoon to Jurong east
hahaa..my breadfast will now be on the bus..hmm, on the other hand, will i be eating on the bus?
hahahaaa...if you guys dunno, i do have a habit of not eating my breadfast whenever it's being packed..
hahahahaa...DANGER!

My boss, annabel is a nice lady, she is flexible and open to anything..
thank God she accepted me, if not i;ve gt no where else to go to..
i'm hoping that this time the school will credit us as our intern, so when i'm on my last yr, i wouldn't have to go for intern and be able to concentrate on my graduation show..
haiz..sad to say, my grad show would most likely be falling on my birthday or dates nearing my birthday date..
this is so so so so saddening..
but then again, will anyone be celebrating my 21st bday??
i doubt lah..
so maybe its a gd thing???hahahaa..
then the first thing on my birthday wish will be to get hired by sum designer company..
and to do well for my grad show..hahahahahaa...

okay snapping back to reality, actually the dresscode for my workplace is office wear, but anabelle was kind enuff to spare me from the total change of my wardrobe,she allowed me to wear watever tt i'm comfortable in. BUT BUT BUt of course, when clients come in, i would have to pull a jacket over...
well i've already found one black piece at Gio and the other cream one over at G2000.
hahahaa..this is a hard decision..but i tink i shall go for the black one, since black one the best colour when you dunno wat to wear..hahahahaa...this sunday i will go get it...

today didn't have anywhere to go, so i stayed home to bake..today i baked scorns, but it was a failure, but i must say the scorns i made were of uneven size, and they are ali salty..but when you eat it, mummy says it tastes like bread..hahaha...
my bro wants it with cranberry..well i shall make again sum other time pa...
and i baked coffee almond biscuits too...yups yups..it taste nice though..hahahahaa...

tt;s about wat i did today...
haiz.....

thinking abou the thot i would be seeing you later..my body trembles..
is not tt i;m afraid of you or anything, but i;m just afraid i;m unable to contain my tears...
though you've gain ur freedom for abt 2 wks already, but it felt tt everything happened 3 days ago..
i told myself, i;m not suppose to be a crybaby anymore..
but a crybaby will always be one..
sigh sigh...

i duno wat will happen tml..haiz...just hope everything goes well....


i;'m tired..i need my rest..gd night world gd nite..

i granted ur last wish, to return ur freedom..
i ended everything by saying, "let me say this to you for the last time,i love you baby, i will love you from the bottom of my heart always and forever. though i'm unable to be beside you loving and be concern about you, but i will love you and be concern of you from afar..in my heart you will always have a place"
when i was sms-ing this, i was silently crying, tears just kept streaming dwn non stop.
i can't help it..
my loved one is now alone, facing the world alone...
even though i noe how much i would wish to stand beside you to go thru with you thick and thin, but i noe thats not wat you want..tt's y i returned ur freedom..to let you fly away and find happiness sumwhere else..
cos i really love you..

though i noe everyone told myself to be strong...
but pls be understanding to me..pls let me have all the time in the world to get over it k?
i promise when i'm over this, i will back to normal...

i will be a big gurl..i will be independant...i will be matured..

just need time and let me recover from this big deep wound in my heart...

though i noe you will not be reading this, but i hope from wherever you are, you will still feel my love for you..i will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on, i will be there to sayang you when you wan me to..i will be ur listening ear when you need one..

i will cherish watever memories we had..i will hold them dearly in my heart..
i hope you will be alright..i will pray for you everyday tt God will give you strength to fight whatever tt you are facing..all the best to you my love one...

i love you....

am i jinx to myself and others??
WTF!

haiz...
i guess my fairytale had ended?
no happy endings nor tt ray of hope anymore..

it ended...
sn will my life and heart follow...
it will die and it will be harden..

y must you be so cruel to me
Y must you take the only happy thing from me??
I HATE YOU!!!!!
you're forever doing this to me!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
you just love seeing me cry and crumble and living my life like god noes wat...
Y??!!!!!
God doesn't answer my prayers...
you took my happiness away from me!!!!!!

I HATE EVeryoNE!~!!!!!!!
i dun believe in prayers anymore!!!!!





you can;t heal me, you can't let me see light...
you said you're light, y can't i see any of them??





i gibe up....
i'm tired of fighting...
just do wat you wan to me..
best is to kill me...
so i wun jinx everyone..
to hurt myself...










I GIVE UP!!!!!